A Review of 2012

I certainly cant say that I am sad to see 2012 over.  2012 was a rough year for me personally.  For the most part, I felt lost.  Like I couldn't find the woman I was.  And I couldn't find the woman I want to be.  My weight sky-rocketed to my heaviest I have ever been.  I lacked motivation to workout most of the time; and when I had the motivation, I lacked the follow-through.  When alone, I felt sad.  When at work I felt miserable.  And by year's end, the only regularly recurring feeling I had was that of being worthless.  People always say you have to hit rock bottom before you can make a change.  I don't know if I've hit rock bottom, but it certainly feels like it.  Lately, all I can do is depend on other people to make me feel worthwhile or happy.  It's not fair to them.  And it's not fair to me either.  I used to be really happy and healthy.  I used to make myself a priority and I only depended on myself.  I used to feel like a rock-star.  And I want that feeling back...

2012 wasn't completely horrible.  A lot of really great things did happen.  So for now, I want to remember 2012 for the happy moments, and then move on and figure out how to make myself happy with just me.  So here's a monthly recap:

January:
Jasin and I had our very first kiss on New Years Day, at 1am when he left my house.  Apparently a midnight kiss was just too cliche...

I tried my only criminal case of the year.  Well, the defendant plead guilty, but I successfully argued two motions on my own.  And one was a motion I was worried I would lose, so that was a professional success for me!

Jasin and I attended our first ever Air Force Ball, and had a great time!

February:
I turned 29, and Jasin bought me clipless pedals and cycling shoes and cleats for my birthday.  The first time I tried them out, I sprained my wrist falling!

I ran my longest run of the ENTIRE year - 6.25 miles.  This was a big success after a 9 month knee injury in 2011.

I flew to Buffalo, NY and took the NY State bar exam.  I didn't pass, but considering I studied maybe half of the subjects on the test, I only failed by 20 points, so it really wasn't a huge disappointment.

March:
Jasin and I went for a hike on Eagle's Peak at the United States Air Force Academy - unfortunately it was covered in ice, and very treacherous.  But still beautiful even if we didn't make it to the top!

Jasin and I went away to Estes Park, CO for a weekend.  Estes Park is about 3 hours away from Colorado Springs, and it is also the city where the Stanley Hotel is located, which is the hotel that The Shining was based off of.  I absolutely love it there.  We went for a few hikes in Rocky Mountain State Park, and had an absolutely wonderful time.  Plus, this was our first weekend away as a couple!

April:
Jasin and I went hiking on Easter Sunday at Palmer Lake.  The hike was pretty steep, but the top of the mountain was a great pay-off view!

I also bought my first mountain bike, and went for my first bike ride.  We rode the perimeter of the base we are stationed out, which was about 12 miles.  I was rather slow but I didn't fall and overall I really enjoyed it. We later went on my second mountain bike ride at the Air Force Academy.  I really struggled, was beating myself up, and Jasin eventually just cut our ride short because he was getting annoyed.  After we both calmed down we decided to go to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, and on the way there I got pulled over and got a speeding ticket!  The zoo wasn't even that great!  But then even later that night we went out to dinner at the Mona Lisa Fondue Restaurant thanks to a living social deal, and the food was amazing and turned the day around for us.

I passed my annual PT test with a score of 95.2 out of 100!  I completed my 1.5 mile run in 13:20, and received a 16 second altitude adjustment on top of that!  I received full points for my waist measurement eve though I was about 10 pounds heavier than my last test.  I also completed 42 push ups in one minute, and 52 sit ups in one minute.

May:
I was travelling a lot in May for work.

The first week in May I went away for a Negotiations & Alternate Dispute Resolution Course.  I really enjoyed the class a lot and had the opportunity to see friends I hadn't seen in a while.

The third week in May I went away again for the Operational Law Course - it was one week in a classroom, and then the second week in the field, camped out in a tent, dealing with deployed legal issues.  I enjoyed this course as well and it had me really excited for hopefully deploying.

I got back from my last course on Memorial Day Weekend, and Jasin and I immediately went camping the night after I got back.  It was super windy, so we couldn't even light a campfire!  We also brought my dog, Buffy, with us, and she seemed to handle it well.  A few weeks later the Waldo Canyon Fire destroyed the place we camped out. :(

June:
I flew back to NJ to visit my family and attend my friends Brent and Kelly's wedding.  Jasin wasn't able to come with because of work, but I had a great time with my family and celebrating two of my favorite people!

I went to Las Vegas for the very first time!  We stayed at Harrah's on the strip and saw two shows: Phantom of the Opera and The Blue Man Group.  We also toured the Hoover Dam, and visited some of Jasin's friends!

 

I participated in my first ever duathlon also!  It was held on the base I am stationed at and consisted of a 1 mile run, a 10 mile mountain bike road, and another 1 mile road.  There were only about 35 people who participated and I finished around #30, but it was really fun and I finished in 1:19:18!  J also ran the last 1/2 mile with me and it seriously meant so much because I definitely struggled!

I attended a Dining In for my base, which is basically a formal dinner where you wear your mess dress, and there are all these rules you have to follow.  It sounds like it wouldnt be fun, but I had a great time.  I sat with my co-workers and we laughed quite a bit that night.

Jasin and I also built my dog a new home!  She is crate trained and even though she turned 1 years old in June, I don't trust her to run around the house when I am not home.  But we upgraded her from a playpen that she kept breaking the zippers on, to a hallway table that doubles as a home for her on the bottom. :)

I found out I would be deploying to Afghanistan in November for 6 months.

Jasin and I went to Keystone, which is a ski resort in Colorado, and attempted mountain biking.  We rode the ski lift up, took an "easy trail" and I fell no less than 4 times, and really really painfully.  I had bruises all over my body and couldn't sit right for a week afterwards.  Needless to say, we only made it about 1/4 of the mile down the hill before we had to switch to the service road.

July:
Jasin and I went to his hometown in Northern Arizona for his 20 year high school reunion.  It was a difficult experience for him, I am sure, but we made the best of it.  We spent a lot of time driving around and seeing the sights, and we also went shooting one afternoon.

We also built a new patio and a pergola in my backyard.  This was a huge project that took every weekend during the month and really tested our relationship.  We had a really difficult time, but in the end everything was ok and the backyard turned out pretty awesome.

August:
I went to Virginia for two weeks for another operational law course.  The class was really great, but I was pretty much a hermit the entire time I was there.  I didn't go out with people at night, and I spent my time on the weekend by myself.  I might have worked out ONCE the entire time I was there.  I ate like crap.  It was a great course, but a really bad time, personally.

I qualified on the M9 pistol on my first try!

September:
Jasin and I went on a predeployment vacation to Disney World!  We were there for 4 nights and had a really great time.

I spent a lot of time in September getting ready for my deployment because training was scheduled in October, and I would also be visiting my family.  I also finally qualified on the M4 rifle (I got it on the second try.)

I ran the Color Me Rad run in Denver.  It was possibly one of the worst races I've participated in.  The parking situation was HORRIBLE.  I ended up parking over a mile away from the park the race was being held in.  We ran on grass - it was really uneven with lots of gopher holes.  People were walking everywhere - instead of following the race course.  It was just bad.  And then I had to walk over a mile back to my car.  I would not run that race again.

October:
I held an awesome kick-off event for my entire base for the Combined Federal Campaign.  It went way better than I could have imagined.

I spent a week visiting my parents in NJ.  It was a really relaxing time, and honestly I didn't do much.  I brought my dog with me, because my parents were going to take care of her while I would be deployed.

After a week with my parents, I went to two weeks of predeployment training. It was really tough, I was bruised and sore, and tired.  But I was really excited about deploying!

I spent another week with my parents and survived Hurricane Sandy with them.  My parents were lucky and not much damage happened to their house, but they were without power for over a week.  The day before I was heading back to Colorado for 2 weeks before going to Afghanistan, I found out my deployment had been cancelled.

November:
I came back to Colorado and was really bummed about my cancelled deployment - I had really wanted to go.  Instead, I got thrown into preparing for a base-wide inspection I haunt been expecting to be a part of.

I came down with a stomach virus right before Thanksgiving.  We had a nice Thanksgiving nonetheless

I started sewing again.  I even completed a set of curtains for my home office!

I also just started this blog - still working on it.

December:
Survived the base-wide inspection, and my office did really well.

I went to another training course for work for a brand new program that I am really excited about, and I am hoping it will open up some doors for me.

I made homemade Christmas stockings for Jasin and I.

We celebrated our first Christmas together.

The Year didn't end so well, with Jasin becoming violently ill on NYE at around 9:30pm :(  This, after he was getting over having walking pneumonia.